Love transforms sex from simple physical gratification to an amazing experience of joining with another human being. The simplest way to think about sex is as energy – life energy. It is as if two people melt into each other and their energies become one. When you embrace sex without fear and guilt, it is a celebration of your most basic essence as human beings. When you express your sexuality as a celebration of love, it becomes safe and can take you to the highest levels of joy and euphoria. Of course, achieving such a level of joining in a relationship is not always easy.
Sexual guilt is a specific form of guilt that you can easily pick up in life. This can come from a rather sheltered or overtly religious upbringing where sex is seen as dirty and somehow bad. This guilt can fall in love at a very tender age with a parent of the opposite sex. It gets triggered when you come physically close to a partner. It damages your relationship and robs of the joy of a good sex life.
In all situations where there are sexual problems or difficulties, it is important to work to let go of guilt. This will always involve a process of forgiveness. It is only through communication that you will be able to bring the negative feelings into the open – to be healed. The process of coming back together physically may take some a little time; don’t rush it. It may start with kind words and appreciation for a partner. A gentle caress or kiss can make it easier to close the physical and emotional distance.
Often, women look for more love when they have sex and men for more short-term physical gratification. Feelings are made visible in a relationship. You own your own feelings, rather than projecting them onto your partner’s and move emotionally closer. As this happens, the fear and guilt in the relationship and around sex will dissipate. As the emotional barriers are dismantled in a relationship, a lot more love will be given and received by both partners. In bed this will translate to much greater feelings of connection with your partner and this will open the doors to sex that takes into the higher realms of consciousness. As you melt into each other, your physical boundaries fade away and there is surge of love, joy and divine connection.
To achieve such amazing levels of connection, you need to make eye-contact during your love making and feel as much love as you can for your partner. Celebrate and appreciate your partner. Allow yourself to feel as much love as you can – just surrender and fall into it. This mutual giving and receiving acts as a positive cycle and will build up to a very strong level of connection. Love makes sex safe and full of integrity.