Overexposure to a particular substance or activity, at times, leads to addiction. Once you get addicted, you are unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved.
Emotional baggage is defined as painful memories, mistrust and hurt carried around from past abuse, control, or emotional rejection. It’s also the root cause of addiction. When emotional baggage is present, and it’s combined with a low level of coping skills, you have a formula for habitual behavior. Therefore, addiction freedom requires liberation from dysfunctional behaviour. It also requires removing emotional baggage, which entails forgiveness! But, how can you forgive someone who committed such atrocities against you?
Forgiveness is not reconciliation! In fact, there’s a drastic difference between the two. Reconciliation is an acceptance of and a submission to a person’s behavior while continuing the relationship under those circumstances. Forgiveness is defined as giving up or ceasing a resentment of an offender. However, you need to understand that you are forgiving them for you and not for them. You may even ask “how could I reconcile with someone who has inflicted such horrific, emotional pain upon me?” The answer is you can’t, if you want to be happy. Remember, you should not forgive the act, but you should forgive the person. The more you harbor these feelings the more emotional distress you will experience in your life, which increases the odds you’ll reach for drugs, alcohol, or some other compulsion to relieve it!
You need to have a clear understanding of the meaning and end goal. You stand in front of a mirror for a moment. Imagine! Look at yourself squarely in the eyes, if someone slaps you in the face! Next, look in the mirror and say “It’s ok, I know you’re going through a difficult time, and so I forgive you” OK! Now, slap yourself in the face again! Next, say “It’s ok, You’ve a hard time, and so I’ll just turn my head, and I’ll forgive you.”
This is most people’s misguided perception of forgiveness, isn’t it! And, it’s exactly the way you’ve been reacting to your families dysfunctional behavior, isn’t it!
OK! Let’s use the same scenario we did above to demonstrate true forgiveness!
Standing in front of the mirror, once again, slap yourself in the face! Next, look directly in the mirror and say “I understand that you’re having a rough time and I feel sorry for you. But, I am going to walk down a different path because I don’t want to share in your misery. I am not going to be angry or harbor any resentment towards you, but if you every do that again, I’m going to knock the living hell out of you!”
This is true Liberation and forgiveness! Put a stop to abusive and dysfunctional behavior. Walk a different path but forgive by releasing anger and resentment!
In conclusion, harboring resentment causes great harm to you and very little if any to the perpetrators! So, forgive for you, not for them! And, drop that baggage and kick it to the curb. It happened in the past! Leave it where it belongs, in the past!