When one partner cheats, there is a loss of trust between the couple and damage to the vision of the relationship that both parties shared. To mend the rift between the spouses and move on, depends on several different factors. In the wake of the damage, do both of them find the relationship worth preserving? How much do they care about it? Often, it is the reflection of what you learned as children by watching your parents and your siblings.
For couples who want to move forward after infidelity, there is hope. Here are the 5 Steps:
Making amends – Can You Forgive Me?
The offending party needs to ask for forgiveness and sound sorry. The request must express awareness of wrongdoing, heartfelt regret, and the sincere intention not to repeat the offense. An injury has been inflicted, and the wounded party must say what is needed to promote healing.
What Do We Mean to Each Other? Taking Stock
How big is an investment made in this partnership? What would it mean if this past history came to a halt? Could the partners shake hands and agree that their paths have now diverged? Alternatively, could the crisis be regarded as a watershed moment, an opportunity to enrich and strengthen the relationship going forward? The decision to move forward with a relationship also entails an unflinching look at the past history.
Getting Your Needs Met
You build trust in a relationship by demonstrating knowledge of each other and by honoring each other’s quirks and preferences. Before a relationship can succeed, each person must be able to give the other regular news bulletins. To be able to remain content and productive, in good health from one day to the next, you must be in intimate contact with your feelings. If your partner has hurt you by taking another lover, then you might earn your trust by trying to please him/her.
Strengthening the Ties That Bind
Most long-term relationships become streamlined over time for efficiency. Joint responsibilities are parceled out, depending on individual habits and talents. Most households have their rituals. Add social events to enjoy alone and with other couples. Commemorate your anniversary not just annually but monthly. When you explore the specialness of your relationship or household together, you fortify it against threats from outside.
Extending the Frontier
As you work to restore your violated relationship, you are implicitly enhancing its potential for growth. Over time the relationship will alter and deepen not just because of its increasing length but also because the participants–the two of you!–are ageing and changing.
For your relationship to be vital and healthy, you must do more than simply accommodate each other. Identify new pleasures and new challenges. Whenever you attempt something new, you are, metaphorically speaking, exploring a place you have never been before. If you do it together, you will be enriching your relationship, creating memories that signify its specialness.