{"id":1303,"date":"2013-03-12T04:30:31","date_gmt":"2013-03-12T04:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/?p=1303"},"modified":"2013-04-09T09:18:39","modified_gmt":"2013-04-09T09:18:39","slug":"abusive-relationship-what-is-your-attitude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/archives\/1303","title":{"rendered":"Abusive Relationship \u2013 What is your attitude?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"649e5f14-4ac6-472f-9506-01dea33abcdb\"<\/a>Healthy relationships <\/a>involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Sadly, some relationships can turn bad. People in these relationships sometimes mistake the abuse for intense feelings of caring or concern. Abusers create a void around their victim that leaves the victim even more dependent.\u00a0 Love involves respect and trust; it doesn’t mean constantly worrying about possible end of the relationship. If you feel nervous or insecure about your relationship, it’s important to talk it through with your partner or boy\/girlfriend, not to try to control their behavior.<\/p>\n

How do you support them?<\/b><\/p>\n

You need to be clear about the distinction between helping and supporting them. Simply acknowledge and respect their right to make choices, or else stick with the situation. However disastrous it may appear from outside, they are making the best choices they can at the time. They already feel pretty bad about themselves; your continued respect may make more of a difference than you could imagine.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t give up on them. There is a very human temptation, at some point, to say “Whatever”, and walk away. It\u2019s very easy to end up becoming irritated with the victim. When you do, you\u2019re actually colluding with the abuser.<\/p>\n

If an abused loved one can\u2019t hold on to the thought of life beyond their relationship, then that is something important you can do for them. This simply means believing and trusting that they will come out the other side of this; even if neither of you can predict the timescale.<\/p>\n

Hold onto the knowledge of who they truly are. You can hold \u2013 and remind them of- their gifts, their qualities, their uniqueness, their lovableness, until they are able to do it for themselves. Your vision may be the resource that starts them on their journey to recovery.<\/p>\n

Here is a list, incredibly empowering for her\/his treasures.\u00a0 It reads like this:<\/p>\n

1) \u00a0 You are blessed with good and loving friends.<\/p>\n

2) \u00a0 You inspire great love in those around you.<\/p>\n

3) \u00a0 You have two wonderful children \u2013 maybe not easy, but definitely wonderful.<\/p>\n

4) \u00a0 You have enormous strength.<\/p>\n

5) \u00a0 You have a vast reservoir of talents.<\/p>\n

6) \u00a0 You are an extraordinarily loving and supportive person.<\/p>\n

7) \u00a0 You have a talent for creating beauty.<\/p>\n

8) \u00a0 You have an extraordinarily attractive personality<\/p>\n

9) \u00a0 You have formidable energy<\/p>\n

10) All this and there is still, you\u2019d guess, about another 85% of capacity that you are currently not able to access efficiently.<\/p>\n

Remember, abuse leaves the victims starving, because it systematically closes down any channel of nourishment. Often, by opening up a channel, you offer them more sustenance than you could possibly imagine. You are uniquely gifted and wonderful. Yet you may need to have your eyes opened to this fact! You support others best, when you offer them a valid, empowering vision of themselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Sadly, some relationships can turn bad. People in these relationships sometimes mistake the abuse for intense feelings of caring or concern. Abusers create a void around their victim that leaves the victim even more dependent.\u00a0 Love involves respect and trust; it doesn’t mean constantly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[163,21],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1303"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandaretreats.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}